MomZillas….. They are out there and it’s sad….
By Fox Feltman
Through out my 25 years in the wedding industry, I have had the opportunity to meet so many GREAT people, Brides, Grooms, Maids of Honor, Fathers, Mothers. I am so happy and excited to meet these amazing people and be a part of their lives, even if only for a brief period in time.
If you are a regular reader of BTA Entertainment’s Blog or Facebook Page, you know how much I treasure mothers and how much help, I believe they can be. Just read my mother’s day post here.
Then there is the MOMZILLAS. Oh you don’t know what a MomZilla is?
When a MomZilla shows her face it is usually the MOB (Mother of the Bride) who plays the part, although I have seen so craziness come from the Mother of the Groom as well.
A MomZilla wants things done her way and doesn’t CARE what soever about what her Daughter and/or Son want. Need I remind you, this is the Bride and Grooms wedding.
Over the last few weeks, we have experienced this not once but twice. One couple moved their wedding date because of drama that Mama had caused, only to have Mama cause more drama, so the couple eloped and canceled their big day celebration. Now in the end, they are happy, they are married and they are together and that is what counts, but how sad is it that Mom couldn’t just be a MOM and let her daughter plan the big day.
The second Momzilla, has had her hand in everything as it seems Mom is paying for it. Now I understand that Mom may want to give some input (suggestion), but Mom paying for it should not be held over her daughters head, nor should it be held over the vendors head.
I received the final payment from Mom and a note that said, I don’t know if the Bride has given you must choices yet, but I better be consulted. For BTA Entertainments part, it got so bad that the Bride and Groom, secretly set up their meeting with us to discuss what they wanted for their wedding.
At BTA Entertainment we do things very legitimately, so we use contracts and whom- ever’s name and signature is on that contract is who we are responsible to, not who promised their daughter the gift of paying for the wedding or part of it.
Someone is paying each vendor fee. It may be the couple themselves, it may be Mom, It may be Dad, or parents as a couple. We explain our policy when I meet our clients. If Mom is at this meeting and Mom goes to sign the contract, I point out to everyone there, BTA Entertainment is responsible to the party signing the contract, not the party paying for it, and if Mom is signing, I am fine with that, as long as the Couple knows that all decisions now go through Mom.
Think of it like a car payment. The bank does not care who pays for the car, the persons name on the contract is who is responsible and who the bank is responsible to.
Back to MomZilla #2. The next day, we sent an email to the Mom explaining that the Bride and Groom had already set up and had their final meeting with us. MomZilla was furious… We explained that this is really between her and the couple, we can not and will not get in the middle. We are responsible to the name on the contract period. This wedding hasn’t happened yet and names of course are left out of this blog.
This couple are in love, so nice and full of life. They just want to have FUN with their family and friends and I pray that all goes well.
Several years ago, I had the pleasure of entertaining for a great couple. The groom warned me ahead of time that his mom was a little “Out There”. The Groom’s mother did everything she could to make sure this wedding did not happen. NO one was good enough for her son, so it really had very little to even do with the bride herself, other then the fact she was the bride.
The ceremony went great, the reception went great. Then as I was packing up my stuff and the Bride was saying her goodbyes, I could see the grooms Mom coming. She came up behind the bride and taped her on the shoulder, The bride, still in her white gown turned and the mother instantly went off, screaming and yelling, All of the sudden, from behind the mother back, out came a craft of red wine. She called the bride a name, that i will not repeat here and throw the craft of wine on the bride.
Next thing I knew both families were fighting, and it got ugly, the Police came, the EMT came, it was bad. In the end, The grooms mother ruined her son and her daughter in laws day, and I would assume things were never the same again.
My hope is that if you are a borderline MomZilla, or just not sure if this is you, you now have a little better understand who and what one is. The chance that you not only can ruin the day, but ruin your entire relationship is probable. And if you are a Bride or Groom, take some control, this is your wedding, and NO ONE else. Help and suggestions are great, but that is what it is, Help and Suggestions. You take it or leave it.
BrideZilla’s, LOL that’s a whole other Blog..